


all i want

by justthatfeeling



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, DONT WORRY ABOUT THE MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, Falling In Love, High School, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Love, M/M, Some Fluff, Supernatural Elements, THERES A HAPPY END, Violence, Young Love, alright i dont know what else to tag, i know it gets a lil rhymey at the end there, just go with it, not super graphic sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 12:10:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15972044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justthatfeeling/pseuds/justthatfeeling
Summary: This is the story of an angel and a demon.A tale to convey the vast expanse and boundlessness of love.





	all i want

**Author's Note:**

> If you are here reading this and you're new then welcome! 
> 
> If you've read my other works welcome back!! Thank you for opening this. 
> 
> I hope you like it, and please excuse any mistakes that might have slipped through. 
> 
> please Enjoy!

 

  


This is the story of an angel and a demon.

 

A tale to convey the vast expanse and boundlessness of love.

 

It begins without even knowing it has.

  


The angel; a simple boy born into the arms of unfortunate parents. The young couple unprepared for such a little miracle, but unwilling to simply cast aside the bundle of new life, a shining light in the darkness of their lives. With wondrous difficulty they carried him through life until the age of six.

  


On a night like any other to the young child a hidden foreboding hung thick in the air as his parents spoke in harsh whispers by dim lamp light of the living room. The boy’s tiny form hunched on the carpeted stairs of their home as he pushed small toy cars around.

 

It was no stretch of the imagination that created the roaring sound of a car engine, rather the very real vehicle roaring up their street. In the blink of an eye -a captured moment- forever frozen in the film of his life, the small boy witnessed death for the first time.

 

An unruly sound more violent than a clap of raging thunder cut through the atmosphere followed by the shattering of glass and dull splintering of wood. Furniture bursting with wisps of fluff or feathers, the crashing of the lamp and pictures as they smashed to the ground from surrounding walls. A mere blink and two bodies lay on the floor riddled with bullets of debt repaid.

 

Above the ringing in his small ears the boy could not hear his own screaming wails, only feel the wet tears as they ran down his cheeks. Flashing lights and sirens, sturdy hands comforting and coaxing. A telephone call, and a new home.

 

From that time onward, the ghosts of his parents lived in the past- all of their mistakes and wrong doings with them. The boy belonged in the care of his grandmother, a tough and strong hearted woman whom he would come to love dearly.

  


But that is only half.

  


The demon; a fearless boy brought into this world with forced intent. Parents perfectly prepared and wanting of an opportunity to create something of their own. Not understanding that a child is not a lump of clay to shape and mould to your heart's desire, but a being with it’s own destiny entirely. It needs to be nurtured to grow.

 

With overbearing guidance the boy was trained, groomed and paraded through every minute of his life. Two parents who wanted nothing but opportunity for the boy by force feeding him a life that was a lie.

 

As a child, not yet having a mind of his own to fully grasp life, he went along with his parents whims. Until of course he reached an age where he discovered who he was, and that this person his parents wanted him to be where from two separate universes. And so he rebelled. He stopped playing show-pony and stopped jumping through every hoop his parents asked.

 

With his own clear eyes it was easy to see through the veil of well put together perfection that were his parents lives. Their marriage was falling apart, his mother having an affair tired of her careless husband.

 

His father took to drinking drowning his every thought, to angry fists aimed at his troublesome son.

 

The boy found the night, it’s black cloak his armour as he walked damp streets, crooked alleys, vacant buildings.

 

The life of the adolescent was slowly turned sour. Feeling unloved, resentful, and afraid for whatever was to come. Being alone didn't last long, as misery loves company. Eventually the late hours of the night became time to wreak havoc to the city, it’s inhabitants or himself.

  


And so paths were crossed.

  


The angel one Kim Jongin, was out on a late night errand for his grandmother. Nothing more than a quick trip to the store for some milk and eggs. The boy hadn’t thought twice about cutting through the park illuminated only by the moon and shining stars.

 

By the time the chorus of cackling laughter had reached the boys ears, every second of the rest of his life was sealed by fate. Just like that, one of Jongin’s shoe laces became untied and he was swept under a wave of dread.

 

He dropped to the pavement carefully setting down the shopping bag and deftly tied his laces as shadowy figures emerged from trees at the edge of the park path.

 

At the mere sight of them he’d known there would be trouble. Like a pack of hungry wolves they had sighted their prey. He hastily swept up the bag and continued down the dark path with purposeful strides, to no avail.

 

“Come now, don’t make us chase you!” One of the boys had said voice raised, it’s twistedness sending chills down his spine.

 

Without thinking twice he had burst into a run, definitely not the boy’s strong suit with the added weight and imbalance of milk and eggs. He puffed out a few breaths before a cacophony of feet hitting pavement met his ears and a bony hand dug into his shoulder slowing him down to pull him backward until his butt met the ground.

 

And like some cruel joke, another terrible moment in his life was simultaneously freeze framed into his memory and carried out in slow agony. The wild and vicious boys separated him from his groceries, paper bag torn to shreds. Soon after, the others bore down on him, a sharp knife pressed too close to home at his frantic pulse.

 

“Please! Please! I don’t want any trouble!” Jongin had begged.

 

He tried to hold himself together but fear had no mercy for him. Shakes and watery eyes seemed to fuel the tormented souls surrounding him as they robbed him, beat him and left him humiliated in a puddle of milk and eggshells.

 

In the midst of it all it was not the grimy hands of his offenders that held him down. It was the gaze of the one- frozen looking on at the scene- so dazed and drowning in his own misery as Jongin himself was broken to pieces. Lost brown eyes and a ruly set blankness to the tall boy’s face.

 

There, that very night a seed was planted. Deep in the depths of two souls.

  
  


The demon none other than Oh Sehun, was struck to his very core that night. They had attacked such an innocent unsuspecting boy for no reason. A beautiful delicate thing -fine china smashed to shards.

 

Like any wrong-doing the universe wanted it righted.

 

Coming in the twisted irony of highschool. Senior year. China-boy a new transfer.

  


 

And so their paths entwined.

  


 

Sehun, confronted with the horror of his inaction, wanted to avoid meeting the boy in any way possible. In turn the threads of fate pulled tighter.

 

They were like planets in the same solar system, passing by each other but never meeting. The first time the soft boy had caught his gaze he felt like the ground had fallen out from his feet and he was free falling. For the boy looked at him, not with contempt or mal intent, instead a deep warm look with kind eyes. Sehun had felt suffocated. Each time after that it killed him more and more that this boy had nothing but tenderness in his looks. A dagger of guilt jammed deeper into Sehun’s heart each time.

 

These feelings of guilt and estrangement had brought about a rapid hurricane of disaster. Sehun just couldn’t wrap his brain around the behavior of this innocent boy. He had watched on as this boy was torn down and ruined, abandoned without care. And yet he didn't retaliate, didn’t shoot an icy glare, just lent his honeyed gaze to leak into Sehun’s very soul.

 

It drove him mad, sleepless, delirious.

 

He spent his nights out at parties, drinking or abusing illegal substances. Sneaking into shady clubs. Skipping class. Nothing he hadn’t done before, but with more purpose if anything just to make his skin stop crawling.

 

Finally, weeks later he hit the eye of that hurricane. Barely a shell of himself, pale and bony he dragged himself to school. Dirty black boots smacking down the halls until he reached his destination. He threw open the classroom door with a resounding _bang_ and stormed in.

 

Frantic almost lunatic words of apology poured from his chapped lips. Submitting, relinquishing. Sweeping between rows and columns, collapsing on his knees in front of the boy’s desk. He prayed for forgiveness with his words of repentance laid so simply at the other boys feet.

 

A look of astonishment graced careful lips, forested eyes gave a deep blink and acceptance came in the form of a small nod. Sehun was removed for disruption, a two weeks detention his life sentence.

  
  


Their middle can be laid out in a plain succession of events -a row of falling dominoes.

  


I

 

“Here, I made you these cookies so you have a snack for detention, you look like you need them and besides it’s my fault you’re there after all.”

 

II

 

“Mind if I eat lunch with you?” the taller boy asked, taking a seat anyway. “I’m Oh Sehun by the way, since we never introduced ourselves.”

 

“I know who you are, I think everyone does.” The boy said with a smirk. “I’m Jongin. Kim Jongin.” And that smirk grew into a smile.

 

III

 

“Jongin! Hey Jongin! Wait up” Sehun had huffed out catching up to the boy. “Can you be my partner for the biology project? I have no idea what is going on in that class and if I don’t pass I won’t graduate.”

 

“Yeah okay sure. I have one condition though.”

 

Sehun rolled his eyes dramatically. “And what might that be?”

 

“Whatever you do, don’t fall in love with me.” Jongin held a stern face for as long as he could before bursting into a fit of giggles at the pained expression on Sehun’s face.

  


Neither of them knowing the truth in that moment.

 

IV

 

“You did not just eat my last chicken nugget!” Jongin had whined in doubtful protest.

 

“Go on a date with me and I’ll buy you as many chicken nuggets as you want.” The blonde boy had garbled out around the partially chewed thing. Jongin just froze turning pink.

  


So they dated.

 

Sehun took them out for greasy pizza late at night, wedged in a shabby booth and sharing a soda. Jongin stood with him on the rain soaked curb as the boy smoked like a dragon, tendrils of white curling from his lips and fading into the inky black night.

  
  
  


Jongin asked if Sehun wanted to come over and bake cookies. So they did. Sehun not knowing the first thing about being in a kitchen making it all quite amusing for Jongin. Later with bellies full of warm gooey chocolate chip cookies they took his grandma’s dog for a walk through the neighbourhood. Stopping at a small park so Sehun could push Jongin high into the air on a swing. Jongin had thought if he reached just high enough, maybe he could touch the clouds.

 

V

 

“So those people you were with that night, do you still hangout with them?” Jongin didn’t look at Sehun when he asked.

 

“No, I think they’re old news.”

 

“Good. Are we going to that halloween party?” That time Jongin did look at him, sweet and hopeful.

 

“Of course! Someone has to be my boo!” Sehun had replied in the cheesiest voice ever. Jongin just giggled.

 

VI

 

“Oh Sehun are you drunk?!” Jongin violently whispered at the boy plunked down beside him in calculus. The other didn’t reply, simply rested his head in his hand and stared forward wobbly.

 

VII

 

Those dominos began to crash faster as Sehun’s life came tearing down like the walls of a castle in a losing battle.

  


He tried, he really did, because seeing Jongin brings out the best in him. Sure he’d never change the way he looks and dresses but ever since they’d first met he’d been so much more present in his own life.

 

Except nothing ever goes the way it’s supposed to.

 

His mother ran away with her lover leaving behind his father who came raining down in fury. The bills started piling up as his father did nothing but drink and lash out in violent rages or gamble away their dwindling money.

 

And Sehun couldn’t take it. The stress, the pain, the threat of what would happen when they’d become broke.

So survival kicked in, fear made him revert. Seeking out the most questionable people he knew, because old habits die hard.

 

Jongin didn’t need to know. But it was already obvious.

 

VIII

 

Reckless behaviour only served as a catalyst.

 

Jongin hated it. He knew. Had known the minute Sehun fell back down that hole, but he’d invested himself in the boys heart too deep. So he made it known just how much he didn’t like the people Sehun was spending time with. But really he didn’t know the half of it.

 

It pained the tender boy to witness such a beautiful flower wilt in front of his very eyes. What could he do? How do you save something already losing to life?

 

He reached the conclusion that people can’t be saved. And so he stood beside the one doomed, ready to crash and burn in an amber glow alongside him.

 

IX

 

Crash and burn he did. Just in a completely different light, nothing like a violent car wreck, rather the death of a phoenix. Jongin turned to ash when his grandmother died unexpectedly.The _click, click click_ of another snapshot echoed in his mind. Another tragedy.

 

Even with his world gone to chaos he still functioned. At least more than Sehun did. Jongin of course didn’t miss a day of school, he just couldn’t. He had promised his grandmother he would always try his best to succeed in all things he would do in life.

 

Without question, that included love and so he rose again from ash.

 

X

 

“Sehun can you meet me after school? Please?”

 

“Alright. I’ll be by the old oak, okay?”

 

“Yeah.”

  


When class finally let out Jongin barely spent enough time getting his coat on, scarf hung around his neck in disarray as he dashed out into the frosty february air. Afraid that a minute too long would have Sehun disappearing.

 

But as the trees came into view there stood a wonderfully messy blond head in view, he smiled and burst into a run.

 

Crashing into the tall boy he clung to his woolen coat, cold nose pressing into a warm neck.

 

Sehun gasped out, gently pushing Jongin back just enough to look at the boy. Before he could say anything else cool plush lips were pressed into his own leaving rapid pecks until Sehun stilled the boy.

 

“I’ve missed you!” Jongin pouted, arms wrapping snugly around a slim waist to hug tight, quiet sniffles coming out.

 

“I think I missed you more Jongin” Sehun mumbled into the boys tawny hair.

 

XI

 

“We should talk” Sehun stated, trying to slow any plans Jongin might have had.

 

“Ok, talk then.” Jongin stopped in front of the blonde boy patiently.

 

Sehun just stared at him for a long moment, took their hands and interlaced them.

 

“I want you to know I’m stopping. For real. One hundred percent. No more of that old life style. I’ve made you stand by and suffer so much. And I am entirely grateful you never left me, but at the same time I’m astonished. Here you are right in front of me after all this time. I don’t deserve you Kim Jongin. I left you so alone on every occasion, I wasn’t there when your grandmother died, hell I missed your birthday last month! You don’t know how much I hate myself for all of this. But no more. I swear it. I have some money saved, I wanna live here with you.” The boy got down on his knees. “I feel like all I ever do is ruin shit and apologize to you. I want this to be the last time. I’m sorry Jongin, I’m so sorry for everything.” Sehun’s voice was choked off as his head hung staring down at the other’s feet.

 

What was there to say really. Jongin understood, he truly did. Was he absolutely upset that Sehun hadn’t been around, yes. But he still cared. Jongin knew Sehun had always cared.

 

He knelt down and scooped up Sehun’s face in his palms resting both their teary faces together.

 

“I forgive you Oh Sehun. I will always forgive you no matter what.”

 

The blonde boy let out a pitiful laugh and leaned forward to capture Jongin’s lips.

 

“Let me show you my love.” He stated hot breath fanning over Jongin’s mouth.

 

Jongin leaned in to give his answer, arms encircling neck as he kissed the life out of Sehun. The blonde boy would say the opposite, for Jongin’s kisses have only ever breathed thrumming life into his very core.

 

For the first time in both of their lives when time became thick like syrup around them, each frame captured was in light of a beautiful happy moment.

 

And when Sehun made love to Jongin they swear it rattled the stars. So much love poured into every gaping wound they had, healing each others pain.

Two mouths kissing feverishly along warm flesh.

Layers shed like leaves in the autumn.

 Jongin clenched his eyes shut with tears at the sight of Sehun’s tarnished form. Just enough protruding bone that you would question if the boy ate enough. White raised skin in the form of scars dotted across light skin. And the dark discolorations of stormy bruises clustered here and there. In that moment it was the gentle boy that felt pain. Every single flicker across the body of his love, caused him grief. The final blow came in precise lines maring hips and upper thighs. Sehun had been hurting himself, and Jongin hadn’t known.

 

His shaking fingers tucked into the waistband of Sehun’s underwear with no intent to go further. Silent tears streaked his bronze cheeks as he rested his head against the chest before him.

 

Warm hands smoothed down his back. Jongin looked up eyes sorrowful, to meet a stoic face.

 

“I’m alright. I promise. I’m okay.” Sehun pulled him into his chest then as Jongin let small whimpers escape for all the emptiness and worthlessness his lover felt. For all the times they both were left to stare reality in the face alone.

 

Once composed, Sehun was able to return the gesture, undressing the boy as if slowly plucking the petals of a rose. With Jongin left in his underwear Sehun was left to admire every smooth curve. Full thighs, round bottom, soft tummy, beating heart.

 

The blonde boy crumpled on the inside not for the first time. Before him stood the boy that loves him. The boy he fell in love with the moment he watched him being torn apart.

 

“Let’s stop all of this hurting, okay?” Sehun whispered clutching Jongin close. “I just want to love you, all this time I’ve been too stupid and caught up in my mess of a life to be with you the way we are meant to.”

 

“That’s all I want from you Oh Sehun, just love me, with everything you have, because I’ve already given you my heart.”

 

There was no more conversation. There was nothing left that mattered but the two of them.

 

No inch of skin was left without the press of lips.

Gentle praises spoken in soft tones as lips met lips.

Pure forms entwined.

 

The only thing either could focus on was the beautiful array of sounds shared between them as they gave each other pleasure in the name of love. Nothing rushed about the way their bodies met. Sehun pushing into Jongin like the rolling of waves against a beach, steady and rhythmic.

 

XII

 

When the final domino fell it was in collateral love as tragedy found their doorstep.

 

A calamity woke the lovers from sweet sleep as fury broke down their door. Like sharks scenting blood strangers reached the bedroom. Multiple bodies burst forth.

 

“What is this?!! What the hell is going on?!” Sehun demanded furious sitting up in bed, Jongin terrified and shielded by his back.

 

The men were armed clear as day. They had come for him.

 

“Get out of our house!” he demanded.

 

One stepped forward. “Now now Sehun, you should know the rules, no?” The creep stepped into the bedroom further, gun cocked. “No one just ‘quits’ especially not a kid with your position and knowledge. You’re a loose cannon. So either you’re with us or you’re dead, your choice.” At that the rest of the men raised their weapons.

 

With haste Sehun attempted to reach his coat on the floor, his hidden gun.

 

In a split second time slowed ever familiar. Jongin registered the squeeze of a trigger in the room.

 

 _Bang. Bang._ He was just in time.

 

The look of horror upon Sehun’s face was indescribable at the sight of Jongin collapsing against his chest. And he _lost_ it. A violent scream, succession of tears, trembling hands clutching at a dying form. Blood soaked into everything.

 

He cradled Jongin as the life faded from his eyes, tender lips forming their final words.

 

“I forgive you.”

And then he was gone.

 

Not a single thing that happened next registered in Sehun’s mind. Not the desperate grip of his hand around his gun as he finally pulled it out too late. Not the bullets entering the chamber of the gun one after another as bodies hit the floor. Not the pounding in his ears and chest as he stared at his murdered lover. Not the final _bang_ as a bullet shattered through his own skull.

  


The end. But not. Because as this tale started, the love told here is boundless.

  


The Angel Kim Jongin met the afterlife in a warm glow. Finally able to touch those clouds he always dreamt of. Able to soar over any sunset, through any storm because now the broad feathered wings on his back would carry him. But he knew not of what became of the boy he loves.

  


The Demon Oh Sehun met the afterlife in a sweltering heat. Cursed to be brethren with the tortured and damned as he remained with the pain of his final moments. Of Jongin destroyed in his arms. Now his own body no longer human, blood burnt black from sin. Teeth turned to fangs, ears to sharp points, small sharp horns from his skull, tail forked and like a knife and eyes red for the blood he spilled.

  


But the afterlife did not abide by the rules of humans. Angels and demons where not confined to separate sanctions. Yes each had their own origin grounds, but each were like a home to come and go as pleased.

 

When the angel and demon discovered this, they knew they had to meet.

  
  


Here they sit. On a wooden park bench as the stars light up the sky. Soda between them and greasy pizza in hand.

 

Jongin turns to Sehun, golden halo shining across his skin.

 

“I’m glad we have a new beginning, because I don’t think I ever want this to end.”

 

The now black haired boy feels tears pricking his eyes. “I’ll love you forever Kim Jongin, there won’t ever be another end.”

 

Jongin leans forward to kiss each falling tear, he thinks maybe Sehun has always been this soft just suppressed in their other life by too much anger and fear. When he reaches trembling lips he swears the gold light above them glows brighter as if it knows Sehun’s true home. Their kiss lights with sparks, two halfs connected and whole. Sehun embraces his darling angel boy and he swears he still feels the bullets as fingers trace over a warm chest.

  


Their love is a tale of woe but truer and deeper than the rest. This love has eternity to blossom, right now only a bud at best. The angel boy and the demon, fate’s fairest match. For love has no limits every drop made to last.

 

Their life begins as gold and black hearts are buried in the ground.

  


Since time does not exist, irrelevant to their realm who’s to say really how much time has passed. A shreking cry of a baby born so obscure, uncommon and profound.

 

Jongin holds the swaddled form, golden halo and horns, tiny tail like a thorn as white wings shift and shudder ready to soar. Sehun kisses them both laughing in awe at their perfect creation, knowing the universe is sure to spread the word. An angel and demon had a baby.

 

“This is our next great adventure” Jongin muses. And Sehun’s heart soars.

  


End.

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it this far, thank you so much! 
> 
> Feel free to check out my other works if you haven't already :)


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